I hear it all the time from women who are doing genuinely badass things.

After months or years of hard work, they PR their half. They deadlift over 200 pounds. They finish the training block strong, finally running pain-free again.

And then comes the "but."

"But I weigh more now." "But I thought I'd get leaner at the same time." "But my body comp didn't change."

In over a decade of coaching, I have never once had a male client tell me, "I got faster, stronger, and fitter — but dammit, I gained five pounds." Not once.

But with my female clients, it happens quite a bit. Sometimes it's said outright. More often it shows up as an unwillingness to fully celebrate the milestone they just hit — because somewhere along the way, an aesthetic expectation got hitched to the performance goal. They assumed they would "lean out" in the process.

That's not an accident. That's the power of marketing.

The ultra-thin aesthetic is making a comeback, and the under-fueling that drives it is being normalized right along with it.

To be clear: this isn't about anyone who's naturally slender and it's not a commentary on any individual woman's choices. Your body, your call. The pressure on women is enormous and we all cope in different ways. This is more intended to be a commentary on the unrealistic expectations placed on women that creates the pressure for them to perform and stay thin at the same time.

What concerns me is that this pressure is bleeding into performance-focused spaces — into populations of hard-charging athletic women training for big goals — where the cost of low energy availability is huge.

Five to ten years ago, there was daylight between athletic performance goals and body recomposition goals. It was accepted that you could have it all ... just not at the same time. Now, the lines are blurred. And women will ultimately pay the price.

We now have ultra lean fitness influencers selling "performance recomposition" programs who are on GLP-1s (obtained through questionable channels) and/or actual steroids but claiming that their program is what gave them that body composition ... so you should buy their program or buy this other product with their affiliate code.

Those of us in the industry who are trying to bring evidence-based info to help women make more informed decisions and are unwilling to be unethical or blatantly push the psychological buttons of women's poor body image in order to sell our services to more women ... we are tired. And we are slowly being drowned out.

Last week, after a very frustrated DM voice memo conversation, I joined my friend and fellow coach and powerhouse athlete over 40, Steph Gaudreau, on her Fuel Your Strength podcast and we went deep into:

• Why the adaptations you're actually training for — more muscle, more glycogen storage, more fuel on board — often mean weighing more, and why that's the point, not the problem
• The "you can have it all at the same time" promise — coaches selling performance plus super-lean body composition at the same time, and why those two goals have competing mechanisms
• How I broke my hip at 30 and developed REDs in my early 30s without ever "starving myself" — and why the no-missed-periods blind spot delayed my diagnosis
• Why female athletes' bodies are publicly criticized for not being "toned" and "sculpted" while men get to just be strong and athletic — and who profits from keeping it that way
• What it actually looks like to fuel for the athlete you are instead of the body you were told to want

If you've ever crossed a finish line or hit a lift you trained months for and felt that quiet "but" creep in — this episode is for you.

​Listen on Spotify.​

​Listen on Apple Podcasts.​

​Watch on YouTube.​

The pendulum is swinging back toward smallness and the loudest voices are the ones profiting from it. I'd rather be one of the voices reminding you that you have other options.

You're allowed to want more. You're allowed to take up space — on the scale, at the start line, in the squat rack. You don't owe anyone a certain body size. You're allowed to care about more than how your body looks.

I still see too many athletic women spending an enormous amount of time and effort on losing fat beyond the point of healthy body fat percentage, obsessing over every bite of food they put in their mouths, and skipping social connection due to dieting.

Imagine if we took all that time and energy and devoted it to something truly meaningful. We would be unstoppable. I want that for us.

A

P.S. If this conversation resonates, share the episode with a training partner. The only way women recognize they have other options is seeing more of us living them.

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